A Clear Moon

This week has been one of frustration in trying to get a good enough internet connection to have a full conversation with people from back home. But one irrelevant comment from a friend is a thought process that has stuck with me all week long. She was talking about how she was sitting on her front porch. As she went into detail, she described the warm weather, the clear sky and the bright moon. All of this brought me to a place of wishing I was at home. In a short moment, jelously of where she was at lingered to the surface of my mind. Immediately I recognized this as sin. Who was I to be wish I was somewhere else? I am in Argentina and am getting to serve the UBA students five days of th week. I raised a large sum of support and am being well taken care of in another culture. Looking at these and other blessing, there was no room for wishing to be anywhere else.
Revisting my thoughts about being on a comfortable porch looking up at a clear sky, I realized the want to be in a location that evoked feeling of home and cozyiness. Well that makes sense, human nature always craves what fulfilled it in the past when it struggling to put roots down. My human nature was seeking NC comfort, revealing many areas in which my mind was not relying on God. Not necesarily the most fun idea to think about and hash out, but the one that needed to be dealt with in the moment.
¨Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.¨ James 3:13-16
In my wanting to be somewhere else, the beginning of envy showed that I was not finding complete happiness in where I was at. Most people have heard that putting happiness into anything besides God is futile, it is a common truth. The funny thing about growing is that I continually am reminded of how the most obvious lessons in life are the ones that I encounter most.
When is the last time that you have thought about the envy in your life? It doesnt matter how long ago it was, everyone would agree that it was not fun. Envy as defined by dictionary.com: ¨a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.¨ My discontentment in my current location showed how quickly my brain relies on the easiest and quickest responce. I had been missing home for a couple of days at that point so my brain thought immediately of how being there would make me happy. Fickle brain, you dont have my best interest at heart.
The thought process that did not come to the surface was the life lesson that the best lessons in life came from times of trial and perserverance. Any time in my life that I learned a fact to the fullest was when I had to rely on God with everything in me and stuck it out to see how he provided. This brings up how God is always faithful, which he continally proves when I allow him to willingly. When I fight and and act on my own will, my result is expierencing the consequences. When I dont fight and fall into the path of his will, the result always mirrors the truth that He is working in my life and continally molding me.
¨Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.¨James 1:2-8
Once truth has been identified it is a needed but guilt giving question: Why would I even be trying to put my happiness elsewhere then? Hello human nature, hello sin, hello reason that I naturally miss the mark.This is the beauty of grace and knowing that God has a greater plan than me. He knows that being in BA is teaching me more than I can imagine. That every morning I am faced with the choice to choose joy and let the trials of my day bring maturity or to let my human nature overrule and win. So not only knowing the truth will bring this process to completion, man I thought I had reached the conclusion.
Doesnt it always come to that? Everyone knows that procrastinating on that test would bring stress, but the night before most feel they are justified to complain and freak out. Eating more sugar and fat and excercising less is known to cause weight gain, but people always act like the world is against them when they have to cut out something and discipline their life. Just because we know the facts we often negate the reality that they bring about a false sense that the problem is now solved.
The source of our motivation is the binding factor. The only one that will gaurantee success if chosen correctly actually. That power source is the holy spirit that believers have acsess to through the blood of Christ, the blood that covered sin and alowed us to be in the presence of the father. What a beautiful truth.
Bringing it all together, when we ask God for wisdom he will come through. When we count all as joy and seek to live it out through the power of the holy spirit, we will not be tossed on the waves in the wind. As this thought process came to be, it put a correct light on my envy of sitting of a porch looking at a clear night. It put a correct view on the lessons that God is trying to teach me and that they are to be taught here in this big city. Wanting to be elsewhere or even dwelling on the idea of being home and then finding comfort does nothing but further my discontent and make the process of learning a particular lesson longer.
¨In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness; with you, evil people are not welcome. The arrogant cannot stand in your presence. You hate all who do wrong; you destroy those who tell lies. The bloodthirsty and deceitful you, Lord, detest. But I, by your great love, can come into your house;in reverence I bow down toward your holy temple.¨Psalm 5:3-7
Lord, I thank you that everday I can come to you and bring you my requests. That you are patient and walk with me every step of the way. Instead of taking out wrath you provide every small step of the way. Teaching with a loving spirit and wanting to see me look more like your son at the end of each day. I praise you Lord and thank you for allowing me to see that true joy is finding contentment in where I am at. Continue to grow me in this area. I love you, Amen.