Truths That Can't Be Avoided

Three Days away and I'm still running away from the concept that project is going to rock my world. See, this year I pumped people up for Chicago and told them of how God was going to strip them to the basics, but ignored the face that I was speaking to myself as well. Ignoring the fact that I was going to have to be honest with people and open up, but first be honest with God and let him into all those closed cabinets where the cockroaches grow. The cockroaches in this analogy being sin. Scary thoughts to admit to myself, much less the cyberworld. Another factor into all of this is complacency. An idea that mediocrity or even failure is acceptable, it is just a part of the life I am meant to live. Which is a major lie, but I'll come back to that point later on. Complacency is a major struggle I am dealing with right now. Coming of my sixth semester in college, my grades did not reflect what I am capable of. My grades did not one thing to glorify God and thank him for the blessing that ECU or the chance of education plays into my life. Yes, there were many positives to my semester. I learned how to be joyous and rely and his strength to keep moving. I did not let the world overwhelm me or keep me on the ground. But, falling in line with complacency, I did not work at all I was doing for the Lord and I did not let his light shine through my struggles. Yes, there was progress but there is still a massive amount of unattended sin that needs to be dealt with. In classic human fashion, I said this is who I am going to be and did not do so at school. This point leads me into the lie I am believing: that my human nature determines the life I am going to life. That my problem is bigger than my solution. I am going to fail God, I am only going to be human. As his child though, I am covered by the blood of Christ: I am made a conqueror of sin. I am called to fight every struggle I am given the hardest I can because I know that Jesus already won the victory for me. That doesn't mean that there is not going to be a battle to go through and see the glory of God in proper light to the wretchedness of people, but it means that letting the battle define me is allowing my sin to win. I let the battle of complacency win this semester, I got in over my head and I said, "OK, you take the wheel complacency." Some may be confused because earlier I said I learned how to rely on the Lord for strength everyday. That is true, I relied on him to get me through every situation and moment where I knew I could not do so. Did I give him control, did I give it all to him though? No, I held on the part that I wanted to do without his help. So my bus did not crash because it had an infinite source driving it, but it is now in the wrong part of town because I followed my own plan. First let me say that I have been praying for the Lord to reveal to me what I needed to be preparing for on project. I have also been avoiding my bible because I have been afraid of what he was going to tell me. So here it is, three days to start looking at the idea of complacency. It is time to start fighting again, it is time to take some names and get a little roughed up for the sake of defeating my own human nature and sin. I am not called to be of this world, just live in it. I am not called to be a failure or mediocrity: I am called to be a victor in Christ. I am called to shine the light of the one who redeemed me, and that come with hard work. That comes with and open heart. It comes with a soul ready to be taught. It comes when I am ready to fight to sit at the feet of Christ daily and yield to his plan, when I am ready to give him the wheel and say take me where you need me. I may not be ready for Argentina, but God sure has me in his hands. So bring on the purification. Empty me so I can be filled again!